Sunday, January 29, 2006

Josh Seeks Godly Wife

Meet Josh, a 26 year old Christian with some very definite ideas--falling somewhere to the right of Osama bin Laden's--about the specific sort of godliness his future wife should ooze.

Josh defends his many, many requirements with scripture. In arguing for 21st century cultural norms in women's dress, he cites Timothy, a barbarian writing in the Roman Empire:

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

Josh doesn't quote the next passage, but I thought it was funny anyway: But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

But back to Josh!

"Here are things I feel personaly are inmodest and not appropriate for women:

A shirt that reveals cleavage or shows your breasts
Skin tight clothing (shirt or pants)
Low riding or low cut jeans meant to show your underwear or stomach
2 piece bathing suits (way inmodest – how is this different than underwear?)
Tank top type shirts for women (a friend believes sleeveless is too much, but I think it’s fine)
Short shorts
Short skirts
Jewlery is ok, but not the point of being gaudy, distracting, or worn only to show your wealth/affluence
Skirts coming to withing a few inches of the knees and shorts below mid-thigh are probably fine… but I know that I don’t stumble near as quickly in this area as it seems most guys do, so maybe my thoughts are pretty tame compared to true modesty.

Full length skirts or stronger views are fine as well as well, I’m not sure a girl in this day and age can be too modest."

As I told Wordgirl, who turned me on to this eligible bachelor, I just wanna fill him up with Long Island teas and drop him off at a whorehouse!


At 6:46 PM, Blogger Mrs. Coulter said...

I particularly love this:

"If I were to marry a women from an un-Biblical divorce I would be commiting adulty."

FSM forbid that one should become adulty!

At 9:25 PM, Blogger AyMayZed said...

A more worrying take from me:

The man appears to have some few of the classic signs of a kiddy-lover of immature sexuality ready and set to start grooming the parent before sitting down to dine at the table of child abuse.

He's very clear on what tools he needs to get Mrs Right over to his side - plenty of chocs and flowers and flattery - and highlights his main goal by placing it most prominently at the end of his infantile show of homage to mothers.

If God leads me to a girl with a child, then God has led me not only to the girl, but her child/children as well.

Having walked with and treated both child abusers and their families, I hope Josh's family comes to grips with their hopefully virgin abuser and helps him to leave those poor kids alone.

At 7:50 AM, Blogger PZ Myers said...

Weird. He saw War of the Worlds, and it reminded him of Christ's imminent return? Yeah, Jesus is going to be a giant robot, stalking the planet and vaporizing sinners.

At 8:23 AM, Blogger annamaria said...

Did anyone else notice that this asshat doesn't think abuse should be grounds for divorce?! Christ on a cracker! Makes me want to marry this guy just so I can beat the holy rolling hell out of him for a few years...

At 10:03 AM, Blogger Jay Woolsrake said...

Damn! This boy has done women a great favor. Almost every woman I know, even the most broken self-deprecating of Christian waifs that I've met, should be able to see clear enough to run the other way from this post. If not the post, then the picture.

At 10:56 AM, Blogger Disillusioned kid said...

Presumably the real test is to see if you can actually wade through the entirety of Mr Harris' treatise. I got to 3.4 and I was so bored I wanted to cry. Clearly this marks me as unsuitable. Can't say I'm disappointed.

At 11:25 AM, Blogger flea said...

"Jesus is going to be a giant robot, stalking the planet and vaporizing sinners."

Now *that* is a God I can get behind.

At 4:53 PM, Blogger Katie said...

Oh Josh. You make me simultaneously laugh and cringe. Laugh...Cringe...Laugh...

At 1:16 PM, Blogger Krisco said...

I think aymayzed is on to something.

He's hoping for someone too "Christian" to realize what he is really after.

Acting like he'd be so generous to be taking on a woman who already has children...

At 7:54 PM, Blogger Lily said...

I refused to see the last Star Wars movie (Episode 3) simply because I don’t think God wants me to fill my heard with Anakin’s fall to the dark side. I think that time could better be spent in God’s service doing anything else… I wrote an entire paper about the movie from what I feel is a Biblical perspective if anyone is interested.

Well, the movie WAS pretty bad...

At 3:34 PM, Blogger belledame222 said...

Oh, yeah, aymayzed, good call.

I seem to vaguely recall seeing this guy's blog bandied about some years back, when he was a late adolescent spouting all this hilariously awful crap; some people were trying to determine whether it was a put-on. Or maybe I have him mixed up with some other pathetic godbag living in his parents' basement.

At 4:29 PM, Blogger Alison said...

Fuck me. (No Josh, not you ....)

Hmmm, I'd like to put my requirements on that site - #1.1 would be "Someone who's literate". What a fucking moron.

Although I did snigger at his comparisons of courtship and dating - "Courting is finding an outfit you really like, spending time with it in the store day after day with all the other outfits (but never trying it on), getting to know what it looks like, the various colors, the individual tears in the fabric, the stains, etc." And then presumably getting thrown out of the shop and banned for life for being a complete weirdo.

Still, I guess this is some kind of Darwinian success - hopefully he'll never get to pass on his genes :)

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Carl said...

Personally, I think he's ugly enough to qualify for a burqa...

At 7:37 AM, Blogger CreamGroovy said...

I guess it's only good to be tolerant of others when you believe in what they're saying, huh?

I hope you all feel very good about yourselves for tearing down some guy you don't even know, for being different. Now let's do that about arabs and lesbians!

At 10:44 AM, Blogger brother_bones said...

"and dating is programming for divorce anyways"

So is not dating, I learned that after 7 years of marriage.

Anyway, while I think this guys views are dicked up, at least he puts them up front. Any woman who marries this guy is going into it with full knowledge and choice. It's not like she'll be able to claim that he changed or tricked her into it.

And yeah, why can't you be tolerant of a guy who's views differ from yours when he's being honest and up front about it? Comparing him to the Taliban? Seriously? The Taliban would kill this guy for being so liberal as to actually let his wife go out with her eyes uncovered let alone wear shorts.

The guy is weird (and the creepy camp counselor thing doesn't help), but it's no reason to discriminate against him just because he doesn't share your socio-political beliefs. It's not like he said his future wife couldn't still own 50 pairs of black heels.

I'm siding with creamgroovy on this one.

At 7:43 AM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

I actually prefer it when the religious whackos publicly self-label. Saves me the trouble of screening them out.

At 6:54 AM, Blogger evil_fizz said...

And yeah, why can't you be tolerant of a guy who's views differ from yours when he's being honest and up front about it?

Ah, tolerance for the misguided misogynist. Right.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Nigel said...

"Ah, tolerance for the misguided misogynist. Right." - Evil_fuzz

To re-iterate: the left expect the utmost tolerance for those they are sympathetic towards or those who they support. However, once one deviates from the free-thinker's "norm", you are chatised or vilified.

Tolerance does not mean acceptance. You do not have to accept this guys credo, but you have to be tolerant because this is America. Even the ACLU realised we had to be tolerant of the Nazis' right to march.

At least an evangelical like this one, at least I don't think they advocate it, wouldn't cut your head or hands off criminal and religious offenses.

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Apollyon said...



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